From trailing spouse to working girl

This post was updated in 2017 in a few places to reflect the current reality.

Trailing spouse: someone who follows their income earning spouse to a foreign country without having employment organised for themselves. Generally, the trailing spouse is female, but I've certainly met a fair few of the male variety! I find it a belittling term to be honest, as if we are lesser beings whose existence is dependent solely upon the earnings of our working spouse. Oh alright, I'll admit it - our existence in Singapore is dependent upon the earnings of our working spouse - it even says so on our little green cards, the ones so appropriately labelled Dependant's Pass, but that's not my point.


While I admire the homemakers and those who willingly run the household no matter where they live, some of us gave up jobs, careers, heck, even our own businesses to go on this adventure we call living abroad. There is a whole lot of talent lurking in the trailing spouse pool and we like to think we might actually be of worth if we can just find the right job.

I gave myself just one goal this year. To find employment - whether for someone else, or setting up my own business again. And hip hip hooray, goal achieved! I took the path of lesser hours and am working for someone else. Here's my tips on navigating the pathway from trailing spouse to working person...

If you are on a Dependant's Pass wanting to work in Singapore then some things to be aware of are:

1. Because of your Dependant's Pass status, once you've found suitable employment you and your new employer together will need to fill out a form called Letter of Consent. We printed this out and did it manually, then popped it in the post. This is a fairly standard procedure and was returned within a week. You can only work for one employer at a time with this standard Letter of Consent.
2. Many local firms will only hire Singaporeans or Permanent Residents (PR's) to avoid the Letter of Consent procedure.
3. If you are here on another type of pass, check with MOM as to the requirements.
4. Apparently, it is possible to get a Letter of Consent that allows you to be 'self-employed' so you can freelance to more than one company at a time, but I have heard conflicting tales of how easy this process really is. (2017 update: I understand this option is no longer possible.)

If you want to work with other expats, best places to look for work may include email newsletters sent out by:

• schools
• Chambers of Commerce
• ANZA or other expat community associations
• business networks or groups
• expat magazines

You may want to consider:

• joining some LinkedIn groups that are relevant to your new adopted country, your home country or area of expertise. Join in a discussion or even start one; let people know you're looking for a new challenge.
• working from home with the likes of Upwork. 
• volunteer work to help with networking and getting your hand back in the game.
• signing up for weekly alerts or emails.

I've heard of trailing spouses who found employment the following ways:

• someone with F&B experience directly approached a couple of the F&B directors of the big hotels with CV in hand.
• word of mouth, networking. Tell people what you're looking for and give them a way to contact you if they hear of something. Email them your contact details (not your CV unless they ask).
• started as a volunteer and moved to a paid position within the organisation when it became available a short time later.

So, what about me you ask?

I was picky and had decided that if I was going to work for someone else I wanted part time work only. It's easy to work daily until 6 or 7pm here... that just ain't me. If you're picky though, you have to be patient. While scoping out business start-up opportunities I saw several interesting part-time positions come up on weekly emails but the one that attracted me the most, and the one I got, was advertised by the New Zealand Chamber of Commerce.  (Yes, to receive their weekly updates I was a paying member  - of only $150 per year, I might add - now, I write the weekly updates!) I work 30 hours a week and I'm loving it.

Former NZ PM and UNDP Administrator Helen Clark (left) with working girl. Second week at work.

That's my experience in a nutshell. Good luck to all those looking for work!

2017 Update: I was with the Chamber for a few amazing years then moved on to more full-time, challenging work with Wings4U.